I have always been a perfectionist. I have always strived to be the best I could be and then some. In searching for perfection, I found, it often leads us to disappointment, depression, and anxiety. I have actually struggled with anxiety and depression for the majority of my life. The ups and downs of life can feel impossible to handle. If you add in the trauma that some of us may have faced, I found myself fearing the world. When you are anxious, you do not just fear the physical world. You can become a prisoner to your own mind. For me, I feared what my life would be in the future, I feared who I would become, what people thought of me, if I was perfect enough, I re-played everything in my head and it never ended.
Then one day, my sister who also struggles with anxiety and perfectionism, bought me a pack of brushes, a pack of canvases, and some acrylic paint. I laughed. I told her I was not an artist and she should not have wasted the money. Then something happened. I tried.
That day I learned that I painted like a 4 year old. 🙂 But what I also learned was it was okay. I enjoyed painting. I enjoyed creating. I did not have to be perfect and something beautiful could be created. Some days, my art resembles Picasso; other days, it looks like my preschooler painted it, but art allows me to escape, create, and be okay with the imperfections of life. Whether it is painting, drawing, or coloring in a coloring book; let yourself create without judgment and be free to let the art heal you.
By Melissa Meier, Auditor
How do you use creativity as a way to explore and relate to your feelings? We would love to hear from you! Please share your stories and wisdom in the comments!